Divorce my Way

Marriage helps people to generate income and wealth.  
Compared to those who merely live together, people who marry become economically better off. Men become more productive after marriage; they earn between ten and forty percent more than do single men with similar education and job histories. Marital social norms that encourage healthy, productive behavior and [...]

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Women have a significantly better chance of marrying if they do not become single parents before marrying.
Having a child out of wedlock reduces the chances of ever marrying. Despite the growing numbers of potential marriage partners with children, one study noted, “having children is still one of the least desirable characteristics a potential marriage partner [...]

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1. Marrying as a teenager is the highest known risk factor for divorce.
People who marry in their teens are two to three times more likely to divorce than people who marry in their twenties or older. 
2. The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is through an introduction by family, friends, or acquaintances.
Despite [...]

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Connect through special dates:
Every now and then create a special outing alone with just one of your children. Take them to lunch, the zoo, a big-city shopping trip, a sports game or a wonderful movie. Children cherish alone time with you and the opportunity to catch up with one another without competition from siblings. Prepare [...]

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Connect through a new project:
After divorce many things change in a child’s life. It’s a good opportunity to create connection through new projects that take on special meaning. Whether it’s a multi-day puzzle, a plastic model you complete together, new shelves or other decorating project in their bedroom, this shared time is a wonderful time [...]

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Connect through bedtime routine:
It’s always wise to create a before bedtime routine with your children that integrates warm connection. Spend time reading books on changing themes, talk about your own childhood memories and challenges. Share your own insecurities and how you overcame them. It’s also beneficial to ask your child about the best part of [...]

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Connect through idle chats:
Take advantage of idle moments here and there when you’re together with your child. Driving in the car is a great time to ask questions, share your feelings, and be empathic about their comments. When you’re helping them with homework, cooking meals together or doing other chores you can strike up a [...]

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Connect through notes:
If you’re living together, slip a note in your child’s lunch box or notebook every few days. A quick joke, cartoon, reminder about a special event ahead or just a warm “I Love You!” will let them know they’re on your mind and in your heart. If you’re not spending time together, send [...]

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Divorce is an adult concern.  Children do not need to know all of the sordid details which have transpired to create the result.  Children do however, need to know they are not the cause of the situation.  Children are by nature egocentric.  It stands to reason that if a child does not understand what is [...]

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We Don’t Understand the Part that Feelings Play - If we can calm bad feelings,  often we can settle the divorce. This may require us to allow our spouse to talk about their feelings, or yell about their feelings, without us over reacting.
Finger-Pointing - When dealing with a victim ex, there is no point in [...]

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