Dr. Judith Gerhart, CFP
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst 
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Mistake Women Make When Marrying
October 20, 2008
Take Charge of the Finances and Have a Workable Budget
“Every women should be the family CFO. As CFO, you are the one who is paying the bills, keeping track of what you owe and how it’s titled. Even if you aren’t the one earning money, if anything happens you are in the power position. You’re the money person,” said Martin Neely.
It’s basically a spin on the not giving all the financial control to the man in the family. “Handing over all control of the money to your husband “because it’s a guy thing” is a bad thing to do,” said Tracy Piercy, certified financial planner professional in Victoria, B.C. Hand-in-glove with that is what Piercy lists as the second biggest mistake that women make: “Putting off talking about money issues with your spouse.”
“Failing to discuss financial goals prevents couples from going in the same direction and can lead to divorce,” according to Harrine Freeman, founder of H.E. Freeman Enterprises, a personal finance services company based in Bethesda, Md. “Discuss your spending habits, develop a plan to achieve your financial goals and stick to it.”
This means living within a budget. According to Alex Kindler, a CPA at Horovitrz, Rudoy & Roteman in Pittsburgh, Penn., who analyzes the finances of divorcing spouses, a major problem women encounter is the “failure to establish a spending and savings budget during the marriage. A budget can be a useful tool and may help mitigate some marital discord. Clearly, a budget facilitates a spouse’s understanding of the current financial picture to assist in asset and debt division pending divorce.”
And most of all, be honest. “Be frank with your husband about your finances, and make sure he’s frank with you about his. Most financial mistakes and mishaps can easily be avoided if you talk to one another. It’s not rude or crude to do so especially if you’re married. You should never be uncomfortable about talking to your spouse about finances. Discuss things like ownership of existing assets and whether or not any of these assets will pass to individuals outside the spouse; discuss debt issues because this will come back to haunt you should you think of purchasing a home together; discuss whether or not you’d like to keep separate bank accounts,” said Lori Epstein, vice president of MetLife’s Advanced Markets team, New York, N.Y.
“In order to preserve harmony in a relationship, many women forgo their own needs to keep the boat from rocking. But those little accommodations can pile up and lead to tremendous resentment. Don’t worry about rocking the boat. Make sure your needs are spoken, heard, and understood,” said Adryenn Ashley, author “Every Single Girl’s Guide To Her Future Husband’s Last Divorce.”
By LENORE SKOMAL
Posted by Judith Gerhart on October 20, 2008 | Permalink | Post a comment
