Dr. Judith Gerhart, CFP
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst 
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More Tips On Getting a Good Divorce
July 25, 2008
Set the tone: Belinda Rachmen, a lawyer in Carlsbad Calif., and principal of Divorce in a Day Mediation, says he parties should try to “keep the drama down, be rational and get through this as peacefully as possible.” She suggests starting with a conversation like this: “Our marriage isn’t working; I’m sorry, and it’s sad. But we have kids and a job together for the next 10 or so years, and we have to make it comfortable for the children.”
Take your time: Giving each other time to come to grips with the idea of divorce is crucial, advises Robert Emery, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and author of “The Truth About Children and Divorce” (Viking Adult). “If you’re the one wanting out, you need to be patient,” he says. “You’ve been thinking about this for a while. It will take time for your ex to get to that place.”
Constance Ahrons, a professor emerita of sociology at the University of California, agrees. “People often make bad decisions during times of high stress,” says Ahrons, author of “We’re Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents’ Divorce” (HarperCollins). Seeing a marriage counselor together, she suggests, can help couples figure out what has gone wrong and what might be salvaged.
Note: Recommendations for patience don’t apply to cases involving domestic violence abuse. In such cases, “get out,” says Ed Sherman, a California family law attorney and author of the forthcoming “Make any Divorce Better.”
Go away. Hide. Get a restraining order. Go to a place that specializes in domestic abuse counseling.
By: Jennifer Huget
The Washington Post
December 18, 2007
Posted by Judith Gerhart on July 25, 2008 | Permalink | Post a comment
Topics: Divorce, Finance, My Articles, Tips, Women's Health |
July 25th, 2008 at 5:52 am
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